Item comes with a free download of a horrible Muzak album we made and the only way to get it is to buy this stupid merch CHECKMATE YOU FREAKS
“Poppa, I’m tired of my head being warm while I wear my PUP hoodie.”
“If I am being honest, my child, we have more onerous difficulties to face in this post-capitalist horrorscape.”
“But Poppa! The sweat on my brow! It trails to my eyes, obscuring my vision, as if covetous of my ability to view our current circumstances through more innocent eyes. An innocence that could breed new meaning from the perceived darkness. A meaning which might finally light fire to a hope we so sorely need to survive, and further, cultivate a newer and better humanity!”
“Well, my child, that is troubling. In such desperate circumstances, innocence is perhaps the final vestige of humanity we can cling to. Should we find the willpower to do so, in any case. But maybe, just maybe, I have a better type of sweater for you to wear. One that will not cover your head, and make your brow so sweaty. But first, you’ll have to give me [price of crewneck].”
“No, that’s ok. I just realized I can pull the hood off my head.”
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Please note this is not a guarantee and this does not apply to international orders.